My favorite SNL skit is Will Ferrell as James Lipton, host of Inside the Actor's Studio. The look, the intonation, and the laugh are spot-on. The dialogue is funny, sure, but my appreciation extends beyond content to the context which frames it. Let's say Will Ferrell decides to laugh less like James Lipton and more like himself or Ron Burgundy or Elf. Funny? Probably. But it is not what the situation calls for, what it deserves, and so it is not done.
If you are a highly sensitive person, you may find it helpful to think more in terms of context and less in terms of content. To the HSP, content = stimuli and stimuli = stress. To all but perhaps the most devout hermit, content (and lots of it) is unavoidable. The average person, it seems, is able to filter the constant inflow of everyday stuff - the ringing phone, the barking dog, the tailgating driver - without much effort or distress. In fact, it seems like many people actively seek stimulation rather than try to deal with it. What else could explain the phenomena of texting while driving and owning two or more dogs? If you will allow, I believe the average person does not think in terms of context. The self (the ego) is the only context, and content is subject to the sole discretion of the ego. Context modifies content absolutely.
Things are not so straightforward for the highly sensitive individual. Although the ego acts as a context, it is not really the only context at work. When the HSP encounters an unfamiliar or distressing stimuli, or simply too many stimuli, the stimuli itself becomes a kind of context. The HSP self, realizing that the stimuli cannot (or will not) change, adapts to fit within the parameters of this new pseudocontext. As such, context modifies content, but content also modifies context. In literary theory, this is called irony: the ability of a poem to derive its true meaning by operating on two distinct but mutually supporting levels: as a whole and as the parts that construct it. I digress. My point is that sensitive people are not inherently able to separate their inner selves from the external selves and objects they encounter.
Is this inability to remain detached a tragic flaw? I don't think so. I think it is a gift that can seem like a curse if not understood and managed properly. Fellow HSPs, I encourage to hone your acting skills. I have worked at the same bookstore for about two years, and I still get a nervous sense of anticipation when I walk through the front doors. What could happen today? Will I have to deal with a nasty customer? There is always a fear of the unexpected, the root of which is the fear of failure. I fear that I will fail to perform properly when faced with the unexpected. I fear that I will allow an unpleasant stimuli to define me as a weak, defensive person, and I am terrified of becoming that person. But before I resign myself to this script, I set my own stage: I remind myself that I am competent and can deal with this sort of thing. I put on my smile and laugh my best James Lipton laugh because that is my job. In a way, I detach myself from myself - I assign myself a more confident role - but I am still myself, as I must be. We all know it is Will Ferrell behind those glasses and that beard, and this knowledge makes us appreciate what he is doing all the more.
Do you see where I'm going with this? The people you meet who are worth anything will appreciate you not in spite of your sensitivity but because of it. They will understand and appreciate how hard you try without demanding that you try so hard. Friends, my advice to you is to be who you are, and let that self be adaptive and forgiving of itself and other selves.
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